This was also the criteria we were marked on by and given a level rating for:
So after watching our film twice through we got a list of feedback and things we need to improve on. Here i've listed what was said through the video and our feedback:
10:47- 'Alarm came in too early'
We disagree with this completely. The Alarm is perfectly timed so that it goes off the moment it turns 7. The only reasoning for this comment we can think is if the board was lagging in which it was presented on but this will not be changed as it is timed perfectly for when the clock changes.
10:54- 'Not an appropriate sound for turning off an alarm'
We agree with this as it does sound more like she has just punched someone rather than her turning off an alarm which wasn't exactly what we were going for. So this will be changed. We thought it might work if we turned it down but realistically we will be searching on online royalty free sites for the right sound as apple loops don't have any that are appropriate as you can see. 11:19- 'Lighting change too drastic'
This is an issue with this shot however can easily be rectified with the exposure setting on the editing software to bring the light and shade up within the image to blend it in with the other shots in this sequence.
12:23- 'She puts all her hair up here but in other scenes she doesn't have her hair all up'
We didn't want to show the whole 30 seconds of her putting her hair up and so showed snippets of the morning routine to prevent the viewer from getting bored. This shot only shows half of her hair routine not all of it but she does continue to do her hair in this sequence, we just don't see it. Therefore this shot won't be changed as we don't want to waste time showing a not so important part of her routine.
12:47- 'Some things make sounds others don't.'
We have objects within the film that make make sounds and some haven't got sound effects. This can be solved by creating foley sounds ourselves using the actual props in which the actors use to create the sounds. This is a problem that needs to be solved as we either need all the sounds or no sounds for any of the objects which wouldn't be realistic.
13:15- 'Bit to bright.' (Shot overexposed)
The shot is brighter than all the other shots and so you can't see the actress on screen as well as we could have it. This will be improved by changing the exposure and shade of the image to darken the shot and make the actress visible. This is a little change that can be made but we do agree that the image is too over exposed.
13:56- 'Change in pace of walking.'
Ryma and Kris due to the match on action shot, it looks like they are walking at different speeds rather than it looking like a fluent walk. This can be solved one of two ways. We will either be speeding up or slowing down the clip that is too fast or slow to match the two clip speeds. Our second option will be to re-film the shots in which they walk and keep track of what speed the walk to ensure the pace matches. Also if there is speech over the top of the so it would make the audio out of sync or sound sped up and robotic so we will probably be re-filming it.
14:13- 'Too quick of a shot. One second she's walking then she suddenly stops.'
The cut between these two shots isn't smooth. She suddenly stops walking and turns rather than letting her walk a little. This is partially due to continuity error of cars on the road appearing then disappearing but this will be solved by re filming part of the scene when there are no cars or include them within the scene just to look as if there is busy traffic.
14:17- 'Camera wobbles'
The camera does wobble a little as she walks away and so we will be re-filming this. Due to it being a windy day, the camera wasn't as stable as it needed to be to ensure a static shot. It isn't that noticeable but now it has been pointed out we will need to re film it.
15:05- 'Not sure if it's a different day'
The way in which the days change so that the female meets the male character isn't clear to the audience as it needs a transaction or a mother way of showing that the day has changed. We are either going to address this by adding in transitions between the shots or we can use the soundtrack music to show the development of a relationship each day between the two characters.
16:30- 'Sound too loud for males voice'
Due to having the on location recording kit mic closer to the male, it made the sound a lot louder than the speech by others. This can be solved by turning down the volume in this specific clip to ensure that all of the audio of the actors is smooth and of equal volume to each other.
16:58- 'Crew shadow in shot on cast.'
We did debate about this a lot as we felt that the shadow was from the actor rather than the film crew. However if the audience felt that it looked like a shadow then we wanted to make it clear that there definitely wasn't any evidence of film crew to give them nothing to pick out. So, we will be refilling this tracking shot as a solution.
18:09- 'Shot too long.'
The shot in which Mallory is walking towards the train station is said to be too long. We wanted to show her journey, however it was suggested that we just needed to show her part way to the train station. Therefore on the feedback given we agree that by shortening the clip it will prevent the audience getting bored and the shot being to long and unnecessary.
18:54- 'Shot too bright.'
It was said that the shot was too bright, however others disagreed and said that the light isn't always going to be consistent depending on where you are standing. We are unsure whether to change this however we are considering changing the exposure just to take the light down a little to see if it has a major effect on the way in which the shot looks.
19:27- 'Incude a focus pull down the track'
It was said that it would be nice to include a focus pull to show how empty the track was when Peter appears. However, we didn't agree with this idea much as we had a focus pull as the next shot, as well as their being speaking and not fitting the moment within this scene. Mallory is supposed to be shocked and so the shot changes quickly to see him to show her quick reaction and Peter's sudden appearance.
19:56- 'Suddenly sounds like Ryma is locked in a box'
We don't understand why but for some reason, Ryma suddenly sounds like she is trapped in a box for this particular shot. It was all filmed on the same location so we don't get why the sound changes. We have one of two things we can do. Either manipulate it within final cut or re record her saying the lines in the same environment again.
20:13- 'Sound a little out of sync.'
Some of the talking is a little out of sync when one of the actors talks it doesn't quite fit their lips. This can be solved by a little shuffle of the sound audio along the timeline to sync with the actors speech.
20:47- 'Needs an establishing shot.'
There isn't really a shot that leads the audience into the new setting and so with an establishing shot, we can show the audience where the actress is before showing her actions. That or we will move the fire shot to the beginning of this scene to show she is in a homely environment.
21:41- 'Crew members talking on top of the shot'
There is some of taking from the crew member giving directions to the actors. The sound hadn't been cut in time to miss this out and so will be rectified by cutting the speaking not needed off the beginning.
22:21- 'Other keys don't make a sound but the enter key does.
The keys on the keyboard don't make a sound other than the enter key which is rather loud so that needs turning down. This is the same as previous points and so can be rectified by adding in the foley sounds of her typing.
24:03- 'Sorry, What was that?! Sound too loud!'
For some reason this sound was much louder than the first alarm even though it was copied across so this needs turning down as we managed to deafen the audience! We needed them to hear our film really...
24:24- 'Music too happy after finding out the bloke she liked is dead.'
The music is a little jolly considering yesterday she found out the man she was starting to like isn't real... so we need to either change the music round so that the sad music is at the end and the happy at the beginning or find new and varied music for the shots and scenes. This will be depending on their emotions within the scene so we will probably be getting a new set of music to vary the film and its emotions.
26:00- 'Shots too long for a repeat sequence.'
This sequence began the film and so the audience don't really need to see it in full again. We will be shortening the clips as suggested to ensure that the audience can just glance through and see that she does the same thing every morning.
26:54- 'Need a shot before they meet'
There isn't really a smooth transaction between Mallory and the new male Alex. So we really need to shoot another shot to fill this gap within the sequence to show that she is going through the same routine again before she meets the new male.
27:29- ' Sound a little out.'
The sound again is a little out of sync with he actors speech which again can be solved by moving the audio along the timeline until synced in final cut.
27:38- 'More intimate shot, eye shot.'
It was suggested that we have a shot of the two new lovers gazing into their eyes to show that they like each other. This is another shot that needs adding to the film to show the relationship building between the two character to match the music that will accompany it.
28:00- 'Walking off into the distance shot over credits'
Another good suggestion was to have the male and the female characters walk off into the distance after meeting, having a conversation and looking as if it was the start of a relationship for Mallory. This would be under the credits to show the two walking off into the distance and that as one thing ends another begins (deep stuff).
Evaluation
Overall, the feedback was good and we did get a lot of positives come back from our film. We will now send it back to the editing suite and create our final version of the product. The thing we need to work on the most is the sound, that we will re-record and over dub to the original footage. We've also been thinking about changing the soundtrack too and hopefully it will make the narrative much clearer to the audience. Here's a little video we put together about our opinions on our film:
